About a month ago I got together with a couple other Gold Star Mothers. Gwen and Jill are two of the strongest women I know, their faith and insights amaze me. Among the many things we talked about, decorating for the holidays came up. How do you remain cheerful and normal when you aren't feeling that way? Jill had gotten though the first holiday by purchasing all new decorations. Truthfully, I'm too cheap to go that route. Gwen got hung up on the stockings, so she bought a camo stocking for her son and hung that instead. I have made counted cross stitch stockings for my family, and after Curtis had married Katie last year, I made one for her too. I am not a sewer, and the stocking was not put together on time to hang with the rest last year. I feel the need to have them all hang as a unit for at least one year. So, what to do?
The idea struck me as I was getting out my tree and hanging my ornaments filled with memories. Since I have accumulated so many ornaments over the years, last year I seperated the kids' ornaments and was going to give them this year as a gift. I found a small pre-lit tree that now holds Curtis' ornaments plus one last new one from me. I love it. From Baby's first Christmas, through the hockey years, to the last proclaiming "Every life leaves something beautiful", I feel it represents him well.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thanksgiving
The weeks leading up to Thanksgiving were tough. Any holiday from now on will be. It's not that Curtis wouldn't be here for the holiday, he had not been here for Thanksgiving in over 3 years. The thought of not getting the expected phone call was more than I could bear. To add insult to injury, Emily had moved to Iniana in October, and wouldn't be here as well, true empty nesters. So, thinking that my mother in law would be home alone for the holiday, Dave and I decided to take a meal to Houston, MN and spend a nice quiet day there. To our surprise, we ended up with 7 in her little apartment. We had a very nice day, considering the rocky start. It's amazing what things can send you over the edge! Potatoes!
Dave and I didn't plan the "typical" Thanksgiving meal. Ham and scalloped potatoes. It seemed more of an Easter meal to me, but I guess it seemed fitting being we were in Dover on Easter Sunday to recieve our son home from Afghanistan. On Wednesday night, Dave and I prepared the meal including the scalloped potatoes. I probably should have cooked them part way, but I thought they would be fine as long as they were in sauce and covered well. Wrong! Packing the cooler the next morning, I checked the potatoes, and you might guess, they had that strange gray tone to them. That was it! Gray potatoes! They are what set me off. Eventually, I came around and decided that we were going to cook them anyway, and if anyone had a problem with them, go get their own potatoes!! For the record, they turned out just fine. We had a great meal with the Swenson's and eventually made it to Madison for the rest of the weekend with the Sperger side. Spending time with the people who love and support us ended up being a very nice holiday.
I don't write this for sympathy, I write it to show that it isn't what you say or do that can make a person "sad" after a death. Sometimes it's what isn't said or done, and sometimes it's the potatoes. It's never far from my mind, so you are not bringing up anything new to me. It is always better to acknowlege a death. Believe me, if I'm not in the mood to talk about it, I will say something. But it never goes unappreciated.
Dave and I didn't plan the "typical" Thanksgiving meal. Ham and scalloped potatoes. It seemed more of an Easter meal to me, but I guess it seemed fitting being we were in Dover on Easter Sunday to recieve our son home from Afghanistan. On Wednesday night, Dave and I prepared the meal including the scalloped potatoes. I probably should have cooked them part way, but I thought they would be fine as long as they were in sauce and covered well. Wrong! Packing the cooler the next morning, I checked the potatoes, and you might guess, they had that strange gray tone to them. That was it! Gray potatoes! They are what set me off. Eventually, I came around and decided that we were going to cook them anyway, and if anyone had a problem with them, go get their own potatoes!! For the record, they turned out just fine. We had a great meal with the Swenson's and eventually made it to Madison for the rest of the weekend with the Sperger side. Spending time with the people who love and support us ended up being a very nice holiday.
I don't write this for sympathy, I write it to show that it isn't what you say or do that can make a person "sad" after a death. Sometimes it's what isn't said or done, and sometimes it's the potatoes. It's never far from my mind, so you are not bringing up anything new to me. It is always better to acknowlege a death. Believe me, if I'm not in the mood to talk about it, I will say something. But it never goes unappreciated.
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