When I was in high school I was in several solo and ensemble competitions through choir. In my senior year I was part of a trio that sang 'Who Has Seen the Wind?'. We did well with this piece and even sang at a few churches after the competition. I loved this song, and I have found myself singing it often over the years. I mention this because of an incident that happened grave site has made me think of this song even more.
The day of the funeral was a sunny and pleasant day, it was a bit windy, but not overly so. After the grave site service, taps and the 21 gun salute, two Marines came to fold the flag. As soon as they picked up the flag, a wind gust came. As I watched the flag balloon up, the Marines held on for dear life. The gust lasted for what seemed minutes. I remember feeling that I was watching something incredible. Afterward, someone said to me, "Isn't it wonderful we got to see his spirit leave?"
I relayed this story to our Pastor, who reminded me that the spirit is often referred to as the wind. I have seen the wind and truly believe his spirit is free.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
God's Wink
Last week Dave and I stopped at the VFW for a drink. It seems to be our new hang out because so many of our new friends are there. One in particular was there that night, Wayne. He is a man that can get things done. He had the vision for the Soldiers Field Memorial Wall, and despite opposition, a beautiful memorial was completed.
We were chatting with a few others at the table, when something that was said reminded Wayne of something, he started to tell his story but stopped short, rethinking if he wanted to continue. Trying yet again, I could tell by his actions, it was a story relating to Dave and I, hence his hesitation. After some convincing, we got him to continue.
The night before Curtis' body was to return to Rochester last year, there was a candlelight vigil held at the wall. Wayne was upset that he wouldn't be able to attend the service because his wife was receiving an award for 15 years of service at the Ronald McDonald House. In the mean time, he had promised our case officer that he would raise the money to pay for the luncheon following the funeral. After the award ceremony, while at the sink in the restroom , he started up a conversation with a man he didn't know. They continued into the hall, when Wayne excused himself, telling the man that he had to leave to raise $2000 by morning. After explaining what the money was for, the man told him that he was good for half that amount, and to call if he needed more. Wayne had been talking to the owner of the company Dave works for. There was more than one reason Wayne was not able to attend the vigil.
After hearing the story, I certainly had chills, but the reaction of another woman at the table was more to the point, "Well, isn't that God's wink". After we all had a moment of silence, I thanked Wayne for the story, I could use more winks from God.
We were chatting with a few others at the table, when something that was said reminded Wayne of something, he started to tell his story but stopped short, rethinking if he wanted to continue. Trying yet again, I could tell by his actions, it was a story relating to Dave and I, hence his hesitation. After some convincing, we got him to continue.
The night before Curtis' body was to return to Rochester last year, there was a candlelight vigil held at the wall. Wayne was upset that he wouldn't be able to attend the service because his wife was receiving an award for 15 years of service at the Ronald McDonald House. In the mean time, he had promised our case officer that he would raise the money to pay for the luncheon following the funeral. After the award ceremony, while at the sink in the restroom , he started up a conversation with a man he didn't know. They continued into the hall, when Wayne excused himself, telling the man that he had to leave to raise $2000 by morning. After explaining what the money was for, the man told him that he was good for half that amount, and to call if he needed more. Wayne had been talking to the owner of the company Dave works for. There was more than one reason Wayne was not able to attend the vigil.
After hearing the story, I certainly had chills, but the reaction of another woman at the table was more to the point, "Well, isn't that God's wink". After we all had a moment of silence, I thanked Wayne for the story, I could use more winks from God.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Bull Riding
Last weekend Dave and I went to the bull riding contest in town. We were guests of one of the promoters and former Marine, Matt. To our surprise, the night was dedicated to Curtis' memory, again. We made a point of going to this event this year because after the most difficult week of our lives last year, this was a good memory.
The bull riding contest was held on the 10th on April last year, the day of the funeral. There was talk that up to 20 seats were being reserved for us. I just remember thinking that I couldn't possibly be feeling up to going to such a thing only hours after I buried my son, but the housewives, Curtis' buddies, who had been camping out at our house for the week, Travis, our case officer and his driver, Dave and Emily seemed to need the decompression time. The thought of being home alone was more difficult than going and being with them.
Bull riding fans are great patriots. The pre-event ceremony honors any attending veterans. Last year the announcer made some wonderful comments about Curtis, and dedicated the night to his memory, he also made mention that his family was in attendance, we received a standing ovation. If the Star Spangled Banner didn't make me cry enough, that gesture did. What I remember of the night, in my mind numbing haze, was good. Strange to say, but it felt like the place to be. I think Curtis would have liked that we didn't go home to hole up, but went to celebrate a bit. He hated sitting around with nothing to do.
Dave and I know we will make this an annual event. it puts a positive twist on a painful memory.
The bull riding contest was held on the 10th on April last year, the day of the funeral. There was talk that up to 20 seats were being reserved for us. I just remember thinking that I couldn't possibly be feeling up to going to such a thing only hours after I buried my son, but the housewives, Curtis' buddies, who had been camping out at our house for the week, Travis, our case officer and his driver, Dave and Emily seemed to need the decompression time. The thought of being home alone was more difficult than going and being with them.
Bull riding fans are great patriots. The pre-event ceremony honors any attending veterans. Last year the announcer made some wonderful comments about Curtis, and dedicated the night to his memory, he also made mention that his family was in attendance, we received a standing ovation. If the Star Spangled Banner didn't make me cry enough, that gesture did. What I remember of the night, in my mind numbing haze, was good. Strange to say, but it felt like the place to be. I think Curtis would have liked that we didn't go home to hole up, but went to celebrate a bit. He hated sitting around with nothing to do.
Dave and I know we will make this an annual event. it puts a positive twist on a painful memory.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Housewives of K-Bay
This week has been a time of reflection of the events that happened after Curtis' death and leading up to the funeral. Some, of course, are sad and difficult, but one display of support stands out. The young ladies that traveled here from Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii to support their friend, Katie.
Throughout their husbands deployment, these woman banded together to laugh, cry and support each other. Like any time of stress, there was also a bit of drama involved, and I would at times be an ear for Katie to vent. But overall they were each others rocks.
The week following Curtis' death, they started showing up at our house to show their support. I wondered what was going through their minds. What strong woman to be able to be here, when this could easily be them in this position, and at the same time their husbands were still in Afghanistan fighting. They were wonderful to have around, the stories they could tell, the help they wanted to lend, no wonder some of our finest young men wanted them for their wives. I'm not sure who started it, but to us they became the 'Housewives of K-Bay' What they had gone through is certainly fitting for reality TV.
Thank you Kelsey, Kelly, Leah, Veronica and any of the other housewives here in spirit, I love you all. You are some of the strongest young ladies I know.
Throughout their husbands deployment, these woman banded together to laugh, cry and support each other. Like any time of stress, there was also a bit of drama involved, and I would at times be an ear for Katie to vent. But overall they were each others rocks.
The week following Curtis' death, they started showing up at our house to show their support. I wondered what was going through their minds. What strong woman to be able to be here, when this could easily be them in this position, and at the same time their husbands were still in Afghanistan fighting. They were wonderful to have around, the stories they could tell, the help they wanted to lend, no wonder some of our finest young men wanted them for their wives. I'm not sure who started it, but to us they became the 'Housewives of K-Bay' What they had gone through is certainly fitting for reality TV.
Thank you Kelsey, Kelly, Leah, Veronica and any of the other housewives here in spirit, I love you all. You are some of the strongest young ladies I know.
Monday, April 4, 2011
1st Anniversary
Leading up to this important date was tough. We had many phone calls all week wondering what we had planned for the first anniversary of Curtis' death. We decided in the last week what we were going to do. Dave was making a small memorial that he wanted to place at the Soldiers Field Memorial Wall, which Curtis' name is on, then we would head to the Hamm Lake VFW, where the Tribute to the Troops group was meeting, to be with some other Gold Star Families as well as some great patriots.
The gathering at the wall was going to be just a few people who we felt have been there for us over the last year. As the week passed, a few more were invited. We gathered at our house to caravan to the wall. As we approched the downtown fire station, I could see the fire engine out with it's lights on. I didn't know this was for us. As we turned the corner, we were overwhelmed by the sight, the VFW color guard, the hook and ladder truck with the flag on top of the ladder, the police cars lined up with the drivers respectfully saluting, and the many citizens waving flags lined up for the next two blocks to our next turn. Dave recalls almost tipping the bike over he was so shocked by the sight. I could only wave and mouth "Thank you" as I drove passed them.
As we approched the wall, there were around 30 Patriot Guard, without their flags because this was not a true mission, along with some very important people in our lives that lined the sidewalk to the wall. I was stunned. My only thought was to hug every one of them, and I did just that. There wasn't a program planned, but we placed the memorial Dave made, and had Michael, our church youth director and great mentor to Curtis, say a prayer. After we made a few comments of graditude, a couple of our guests presented us gifts. I guess it was a program after all. We then made our way to the VFW to raise a toast to Curtis, all the fallen, all who are still fighting, the Vets and their families.
The visit to Hamm Lake was just as moving and uplifting. How far we have come in a year. A date that we regretted had turned out to be mostly possitive and good. Curtis had his hand in this I'm sure, he brought so many wonderful people into our lives.
The gathering at the wall was going to be just a few people who we felt have been there for us over the last year. As the week passed, a few more were invited. We gathered at our house to caravan to the wall. As we approched the downtown fire station, I could see the fire engine out with it's lights on. I didn't know this was for us. As we turned the corner, we were overwhelmed by the sight, the VFW color guard, the hook and ladder truck with the flag on top of the ladder, the police cars lined up with the drivers respectfully saluting, and the many citizens waving flags lined up for the next two blocks to our next turn. Dave recalls almost tipping the bike over he was so shocked by the sight. I could only wave and mouth "Thank you" as I drove passed them.
As we approched the wall, there were around 30 Patriot Guard, without their flags because this was not a true mission, along with some very important people in our lives that lined the sidewalk to the wall. I was stunned. My only thought was to hug every one of them, and I did just that. There wasn't a program planned, but we placed the memorial Dave made, and had Michael, our church youth director and great mentor to Curtis, say a prayer. After we made a few comments of graditude, a couple of our guests presented us gifts. I guess it was a program after all. We then made our way to the VFW to raise a toast to Curtis, all the fallen, all who are still fighting, the Vets and their families.
The visit to Hamm Lake was just as moving and uplifting. How far we have come in a year. A date that we regretted had turned out to be mostly possitive and good. Curtis had his hand in this I'm sure, he brought so many wonderful people into our lives.
Friday, April 1, 2011
April 2, 2010
It's a date that will forever be etched in my brain. The day that changed the course of my life permanently. As the date approached, Dave and I would comment on how a year could feel like a day.
After work on this day a year ago I did some chores around the house, then Dave and I met Emily for an appetizer before she started work. She wanted to talk about school. She had been struggling with her choice of major, and was contemplating taking off a semester to live with Curits and Katie for a few months in Hawaii. What a great adventure for her, and today she had made her final decision to do it, pending Curtis' approval. We also talked about our family trip to Hawaii once Curtis returned home, we had booked the plane tickets only the night before.
After leaving Emily, we stopped for a couple of movies, ready for a quiet evening at home. A few minutes after getting home, Dave stepped out on the deck to call our dog back in, we were in the middle of a conversation, and when he stopped talking abruptly, I looked to see what was wrong. There he stood with his hand reaching out in a look of questioning. My first thought is that someone he hadn't seen in a long time had unexpectedly stopped by. That is when I saw the heads of two Marines walk in front the the deck. I knew instantly that this couldn't be good. I don't recall the words they used to inform us of our sons death, I didn't need words to know he was gone. I sat on the bench inside the door for a long time with my head in my hands, willing them to go away, wanting them to be wrong. I was in shock, tears didn't even come.
I couldn't tell you how much time had passed, but my first true thought was of Emily. We needed to inform her before anyone else. I needed to get to her RIGHT NOW! After calming me down and getting the information, we got into that infamous black suburban with three Marines, the two informants and the driver, to tell Emily the devastating news. As her manager walked with her up to the front entrance, I could see Emily smiling and joking with her, my only thought was that I was going to give her news that is going to take that sparkle from her.
Back home we made phone calls to family members, and discovered that the Marine that was in Indiana to inform Katie was having difficulty locating her. Emily called to ask her to go home. Katie instantly became alarmed by such a request, we were told not to tell her, but she was far from her fathers house and in a panic, asking us if Curtis was OK. I couldn't take it anymore, and after confirming she wasn't alone, and wasn't driving, I was the one to inform her of Curtis' death. This was not protocol, but it was the right thing to do. Thankfully, she was home for the Easter holiday and was with family and friends.
One more task before the Marines left for the evening, was to get some basic information from us because we were to head to Dover to witness the dignified transfer, to receive our son home from Afghanistan. How strange to be informed of this news, and then to leave family and friends, our support, to travel.
It amazes me how fast news travels, within hours our house was full of people. There were stories of Curtis, some I had never heard, lots of tears, yet plenty of laughter, he was a funny kid.
So begins the story of this new life.
After work on this day a year ago I did some chores around the house, then Dave and I met Emily for an appetizer before she started work. She wanted to talk about school. She had been struggling with her choice of major, and was contemplating taking off a semester to live with Curits and Katie for a few months in Hawaii. What a great adventure for her, and today she had made her final decision to do it, pending Curtis' approval. We also talked about our family trip to Hawaii once Curtis returned home, we had booked the plane tickets only the night before.
After leaving Emily, we stopped for a couple of movies, ready for a quiet evening at home. A few minutes after getting home, Dave stepped out on the deck to call our dog back in, we were in the middle of a conversation, and when he stopped talking abruptly, I looked to see what was wrong. There he stood with his hand reaching out in a look of questioning. My first thought is that someone he hadn't seen in a long time had unexpectedly stopped by. That is when I saw the heads of two Marines walk in front the the deck. I knew instantly that this couldn't be good. I don't recall the words they used to inform us of our sons death, I didn't need words to know he was gone. I sat on the bench inside the door for a long time with my head in my hands, willing them to go away, wanting them to be wrong. I was in shock, tears didn't even come.
I couldn't tell you how much time had passed, but my first true thought was of Emily. We needed to inform her before anyone else. I needed to get to her RIGHT NOW! After calming me down and getting the information, we got into that infamous black suburban with three Marines, the two informants and the driver, to tell Emily the devastating news. As her manager walked with her up to the front entrance, I could see Emily smiling and joking with her, my only thought was that I was going to give her news that is going to take that sparkle from her.
Back home we made phone calls to family members, and discovered that the Marine that was in Indiana to inform Katie was having difficulty locating her. Emily called to ask her to go home. Katie instantly became alarmed by such a request, we were told not to tell her, but she was far from her fathers house and in a panic, asking us if Curtis was OK. I couldn't take it anymore, and after confirming she wasn't alone, and wasn't driving, I was the one to inform her of Curtis' death. This was not protocol, but it was the right thing to do. Thankfully, she was home for the Easter holiday and was with family and friends.
One more task before the Marines left for the evening, was to get some basic information from us because we were to head to Dover to witness the dignified transfer, to receive our son home from Afghanistan. How strange to be informed of this news, and then to leave family and friends, our support, to travel.
It amazes me how fast news travels, within hours our house was full of people. There were stories of Curtis, some I had never heard, lots of tears, yet plenty of laughter, he was a funny kid.
So begins the story of this new life.
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