Perhaps I've given the wrong impression. Recently someone told me she didn't need to ask what I have been doing and how I have been feeling, all she had to to was read my blog. I just nodded my head and smiled.
I take great care in what I put out to the public. I try to stay upbeat and positive because it is the direction I want to go. The trauma I have suffered was deep, the wound was jagged and raw. The healing has been slow and painful. Now, 'arthritis' has set in, never letting me forget the damage that has been done. Some of my writing is dark and angry, but I don't want to place that on anyone.
I have said that I write for myself first, if it helps others to understand it is an added bonus. Many can empathize, but I don't know if anyone could totally understand. Even though many have gone through the same circumstance, each of our journeys are so different. I can honestly tell them, "I have walked in your shoes, but I do not know what you are feeling."
So many look at the things Dave and I have done in the past few years and take comfort in believing we are doing great. Yes, we have accomplished much, but as Dave would say it's because we are scared. We didn't know what else to do. We didn't want our son or any of the other brave men and woman who paid the ultimate price for our freedoms forgotten. Doing the same old thing was not an option, so we simply needed to find an outlet.
I will continue to write in my positive fashion because I believe it is that state of mind that is helping me heal. I am grateful people read my blog and are able to follow this crazy journey, but please understand this is not the whole picture. I don't think I can even put all of it into words.
