It has been a long time since I decided to post something. One, I have not felt a need. The past several months have placed me with an even sense of emotions. Two, I have been busy with life. Volunteering, fund raising, speaking and working on relationships has added a mission to my life as well as a sense of peace.
This morning I was reflecting on a incident that happened last summer. It brought tears of sadness and joy.
I have written about the Patriot Ride in the past. I look forward to the ride, even knowing there will be many emotions. Each year is different and with every passing year, there seems to have more happiness in the ride for me.
The programs during the ride were extremely touching this year. There was a surprise homecoming, and a fellow Gold Star Mother spoke eloquently of our family's journey and thankfulness for the Patriot Guard's support. But the most touching part of my day was shortly after.
There is a ceremonial balloon release for the families. Each Gold Star family member is asked to write a note to their loved one and release a balloon as the final part of the day. For some reason, I did not feel like releasing a balloon. Many around me tried to force it on me, telling me I HAD to do it. If there is one thing I have learned in the past years, it is to follow my heart. I did not take a balloon, but followed the others to the field where they were to release them.
As I watch the ceremony, I noticed a couple in the back of the crowd. The woman was having a very difficult time. I did not recognize either of them, but kept an eye on them out of concern. Finally the man walked my way to take some pictures. I asked if they had recently lost their loved one. It had been one year and two days since the loss of his friends nephew. He had brought her for the first time, and like many of the families, the first ride is very difficult with emotions you didn't expect.
As the balloon release ended, the woman approached, still visibly upset. All I could do was take her into my arms as she sobbed on my shoulder. I knew those emotions all too well. I took deep breaths to remain calm and supportive, trying to show her peace without words. Dave and her friend watched silently. As she calmed, I opened my eyes only to find all the families had walked past us, silently, knowing the emotion. Seeing the picture as sad, yet very beautiful.
Had I chosen to release a balloon, I would not have been part of this beautiful scene. I am grateful I followed my heart. I did what felt right, not what I was told to do.
There is something more powerful than ourselves leading us in the direction we are suppose to take. We just need to follow the signs.
