There are many things that make this journey difficult. One thing I get hung up on over and over, is the idea that suddenly all the hopes and dreams that I had for Curtis were stripped from me.
Somewhere I read, 'When our children are alive we have many new things to talk about each day. Suddenly that stops, and you are left with only the memories, there is nothing new.' The same goes for the hopes and dreams. I can no longer think of the grandchildren that would give him as many grey hairs as he gave me. I know he would have made a great husband and father, but I will never get to witness it. I cannot watch as he discovers his mission in life, would he go to school or stay in the military? Those I will never know.
The lost dreams are not limited to Curtis. It interrupted Emily and Katie's future plans as well. All of our paths had to endure this major hiccup that diverted us to something else. It pains me that they had to go through this heartache at such a young age.
Of course not all aspects of our new life are bad. New missions, new relationships and new hopes and dreams have emerged. I hope Katie will remarry, she deserves to be happy and that is what Curtis would want for her. I dream of the many grandchildren Emily may have. And the work Dave and I have been doing to help others, has helped us.
By moving forward, we live for Curtis.
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