I feel like someone has come back from the dead. I have spoken of the child I gave up for adoption, he has found me. I am thrilled, this is something I have wanted for so long. Now that it has happened, I am filled with emotions I didn't expect.
When I gave him a new life, I had to go through a period of what I would describe as mourning. I had to come to terms with my loss even though I knew I was doing the right thing. Like a death, I would never forget, but I had to move forward and make a life of my own without him in it. It is strange that in my mind all these years he would find me in his late twenties, I shouldn't be surprised.
I am suddenly thrown back to a painful time of the loss of my sister, an unexpected pregnancy and abandonment. This, added to my recent loss has placed me back into the bipolar ups and downs of recent years.
I am excited to talk with him and learn of his childhood. I treasure getting to know him as the adult he has become. It places me on a high to hear from him almost daily since we have connected. But then I think of what I am missing with Curtis and I can spiral down to that low place again. It is a unique situation that no books are written to help me through.
Dave and Emily are so supportive. Like Katie and Nic, they are ready to accept him with open arms, unconditionally. I guess that's just how our family operates. I hope he is ready for us.
Thankfully these tumultuous emotions will end with a good thing. Hopefully we can have a life long friendship. Thank you Jon for finding me, I have loved you all your life.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
Honor Flight
Saturday was a big day for some Veterans out of the Twin Cities. One hundred men and woman from WWII traveled to Washington DC for one day to visit their memorial. This memorial was only dedicated in 2004, and with 1000 WWII veterans dying each day, it was urgent that the remaining veterans get the opportunity to experience the gratitude of the nation. The honor was all mine, as I got the pleasure of travel with them.
The morning starts at five greeting our men and women at the airport and then we are off and running, not an easy feat with most in their late 80's and 90's. The organization is incredible. One hundred vets, 60 guardians and 70 wheelchairs is not an easy task to transport anywhere, but we managed to visit seven monuments or memorials, with a bus tour of DC as well.
The gentlemen in my care were two Navy veterans who have been friends for over seventy years. John joined the Navy right after school at 17, while Jack waited to be drafted. They then went on to raise families always remaining friends. Neither saw combat and I was told they felt guilty about that for a long time, but they came to the realization that they went where they were told to do their duty. They still did their part. They were funny and quick to get the jabs in with each other, I was fair game as well. I sometimes wondered who was watching out for whom? We made a great team.
It was my first trip to Washington DC. Asked what I liked the best about it I struggled to answer, the memorials are so different from each other. The iconic Iwo Jima holds a special place in my heart, the Air Force spears are beautiful, the Korean and Vietnam walls are haunting and sobering and the WWII memorial was grand and experiencing it with some of our finest was so special. So my answer was that, I couldn't imagine a greater first time trip to DC than to travel with some of our greatest generation and experience it through their eyes.
The morning starts at five greeting our men and women at the airport and then we are off and running, not an easy feat with most in their late 80's and 90's. The organization is incredible. One hundred vets, 60 guardians and 70 wheelchairs is not an easy task to transport anywhere, but we managed to visit seven monuments or memorials, with a bus tour of DC as well.
The gentlemen in my care were two Navy veterans who have been friends for over seventy years. John joined the Navy right after school at 17, while Jack waited to be drafted. They then went on to raise families always remaining friends. Neither saw combat and I was told they felt guilty about that for a long time, but they came to the realization that they went where they were told to do their duty. They still did their part. They were funny and quick to get the jabs in with each other, I was fair game as well. I sometimes wondered who was watching out for whom? We made a great team.
It was my first trip to Washington DC. Asked what I liked the best about it I struggled to answer, the memorials are so different from each other. The iconic Iwo Jima holds a special place in my heart, the Air Force spears are beautiful, the Korean and Vietnam walls are haunting and sobering and the WWII memorial was grand and experiencing it with some of our finest was so special. So my answer was that, I couldn't imagine a greater first time trip to DC than to travel with some of our greatest generation and experience it through their eyes.
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