Recently my niece finished the School of Music and got her orders. After a long difficult road to complete the course, she is on her way. I wrote on her facebook page that I was happy for her. It is what she wanted and was so anxious to get started on the career path that she had been working on for so long. But it made me start thinking, dangerous, I know.
As I was raising my children, many times I would think that I just wanted them to be happy with the path their lives took, this applies to others as well. Their happiness would make me happy. For the most part this is true. I am happy Emily and Nic are in love and doing so well. I am happy for Beckie that her military career is finally on the move. I am happy for Katie that she found a career that she can share her beautiful heart. This is where I started thinking, shouldn't I apply this same theory to Curtis?
It is easy to be happy for someone when their happiness is also something that is good for you. Even if it sometimes starts with a pang of unhappiness, such as a move far away, meaning a small loss for you. You can still find it in your heart to feel joyful for them. But when their happiness means such a tremendous loss for you, it is not as easy.
Curtis is where there is no pain or sorrow. He is forever young. He has eternal life. Shouldn't I be glad for this ultimate happiness? As I was thinking this thought, the tears flowing, a smile came across my face, which in turn brought on more tears. I guess it was a "laughing through tears" moment. I am happy for Curtis, just really sad for me. The work of grief is getting to the moment when I can say "I am happy for you" and truly feel happy at the same time. Apparently I have some work to do.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
All Gave Some, Some Gave All
Veterans Day has come and gone again. Just another date of reminder. It was three years ago that we spent our last day with Curtis and said our goodbye's before he left for his deployment to Afghanistan. This year we were invited to many of the events around town, and what a big weekend it was.
Starting with Wednesday night. The DAV had organized a deer hunt for several veterans and we were invited to attend the meet and greet. It is a great time to meet old friends and new people. The Blue Star Mothers were also a part of this event and I was able to put faces to some of the signatures on the cards I receive so often from them.
Thursday was a dinner at the Legion. I was unable to attend, but Dave did the representation for us.
Saturday was the big day, not because of Veterans Day, but it was the 237th Birthday of the Marine Corps. If you don't know any Marines, this is a big deal! We started the day with breakfast with some Marines that are very special to us. Al, Dave's nephew. Jamison, who was a poole with Curtis, and Iraq vet. Zach, the vehicle commander at the time of the incident. And Phil, a five time Iraq Vet. We were heading to a veterans pheasant hunt for the morning. I haven't done much hunting, but know how to handle a gun. After some clay shooting, we were split in different groups to hunt. I couldn't hit the side of a barn, but a few feathers were ruffled and I had a great time. Later that evening, we headed to the VFW for the Birthday bash.
Sunday was the 11th day of the 11th month, Veterans Day. I was honored to be asked to speak at the members dinner at the VFW. I haven't done any public speaking since high school forensics, so I was a bit nervous. I pulled myself together after dinner and actually found it pleasant to be telling my family history of service and what I felt about the 70 or so combat veterans and guests in front of me.
Monday, the day that the holiday was observed. We went to the Veterans program at the Event Center in town. One of the speakers, a Vietnam vet and triple amputee, was inspiring. The other, a local veteran supporter, was emotionally driven. What a great breakfast and ceremony.
I am exhausted just writing it all. A weekend that was filled with emotional highs and lows, as it should be. May we never forget the sacrifices that all our Veterans have paid.
All gave some, some gave all.
Starting with Wednesday night. The DAV had organized a deer hunt for several veterans and we were invited to attend the meet and greet. It is a great time to meet old friends and new people. The Blue Star Mothers were also a part of this event and I was able to put faces to some of the signatures on the cards I receive so often from them.
Thursday was a dinner at the Legion. I was unable to attend, but Dave did the representation for us.
Saturday was the big day, not because of Veterans Day, but it was the 237th Birthday of the Marine Corps. If you don't know any Marines, this is a big deal! We started the day with breakfast with some Marines that are very special to us. Al, Dave's nephew. Jamison, who was a poole with Curtis, and Iraq vet. Zach, the vehicle commander at the time of the incident. And Phil, a five time Iraq Vet. We were heading to a veterans pheasant hunt for the morning. I haven't done much hunting, but know how to handle a gun. After some clay shooting, we were split in different groups to hunt. I couldn't hit the side of a barn, but a few feathers were ruffled and I had a great time. Later that evening, we headed to the VFW for the Birthday bash.
Sunday was the 11th day of the 11th month, Veterans Day. I was honored to be asked to speak at the members dinner at the VFW. I haven't done any public speaking since high school forensics, so I was a bit nervous. I pulled myself together after dinner and actually found it pleasant to be telling my family history of service and what I felt about the 70 or so combat veterans and guests in front of me.
Monday, the day that the holiday was observed. We went to the Veterans program at the Event Center in town. One of the speakers, a Vietnam vet and triple amputee, was inspiring. The other, a local veteran supporter, was emotionally driven. What a great breakfast and ceremony.
I am exhausted just writing it all. A weekend that was filled with emotional highs and lows, as it should be. May we never forget the sacrifices that all our Veterans have paid.
All gave some, some gave all.
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