Parris Island

I'm heading to Parris Island, South Carolina today to attend the boot camp graduation of my niece.  I've been struggling on how I feel about this trip.  Right now I am calm, but I never know how I am going to be once I am there.

I have been to a few of these graduations, the last being Curtis' in 2007.  I am glad that all the others have been at MCRD in San Diego, so this will be a whole new venue and experience.  But the ceremony, in true military fashion, will be the same.  I'm happy to go and be there for Beckie, but in my mind it has a bit of a homecoming feel to it, so it makes me nervous.  I'm proud of her, but worry about what she may encounter in the military, just the same as I had for Curtis. All of this is too familiar.

I've been told that a child's traumatic death can lead to symptoms of PTSD, and it is these events that make me believe it.  I'm not saying I have it, it is not a disorder to be throwing around lightly, but sometimes when I am in these situations my anxiety rises, my heart races, concentration becomes poor and my mind will go numb. 

Some people have suggested I don't do the things that bring on the stress, but what else do they suggest?  Should I hole up in my house and never deal with these issues?  I can see that is not the answer.  It may be difficult, but facing these things head on is easier than running and hiding.  I would only have to deal with it at possibly a more inopportune time.  I would rather do it on my own terms.

Regardless of my issues, I will stand in support of Beckie's accomplishment.  Only one percent of Americans serve in the armed forces and even fewer can 'claim the title, United States Marine'.  She should be proud of herself, I am.