It is only a matter of time. Just like the Minnesota weather, if you don't like it today, just wait until tomorrow. As peaceful as I felt last week, this week is full of uncertainty and unrest. Sleep has been elusive. Over the last few days I get the feeling I am forgetting something, leaving something undone. It makes me nervous and antsy.
It could be that the anniversary is fast approaching. In the last few days I have been getting flashbacks of the weeks events hitting me out of the blue. Just snippets of moments that remind me of the loss. The worst of them is watching the two marine heads pass my deck, knowing what news they carry. I actually have come to respect both these men, but I wish I could wipe that moment in time away.
Another thing that bothers me is the news coming out of Afghanistan of a soldiers killing spree. I understand the stress he is under that made him snap, but the danger he has placed on others is devastating. I have a friend deploying within the week, with another to follow in a few months. This news places me back in time of when Curtis deployed and the stress was painfully high.
This walk through grief is the hardest thing I've ever done. The emotional highs and lows are crazy and uncontrollable. Just when I feel I have a handle on things, I get slapped again. They sometimes get lost, but I try to focus on the blessings in my life.
It's only a matter of time.
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