Friday, March 18, 2011

An Ordinary Friday?

On an ordinary Friday about a year ago I went to work.  While checking my days schedule, I noticed a name of someone I had never seen before.  Another girl in the office knew her and told me that her teenage son had drown a few years earlier.  I was stunned, how do you get through something like that? 

During the appointment I was having trouble making conversation.  I didn't know her, and should not have known about her history, besides I was dealing with my own demons.  Ever since Curtis had deployed to Iraq in 2008, it was a subject that could creep into my mind as a possibility more times than I could count, but I would  always stop myself and say "NO, he is fine, he is coming home to me safe!"  Now I was faced, one on one, with someone who knew this pain.  I couldn't find a way to broach the subject. The idea of what I would do if I lost Curtis stopped me from saying anything to her.  I felt awful after she left, but not as bad as I felt only a few hours later when I found out that when I was seeing that patient, Curtis had already been dead for three hours.

Was she sent to me for a reason and I squandered it?  Not that she could have said anything to ease the pain of losing a child, or given any advice at that moment that would have made any sense to me, but I could have listened to her and let her talk about her son.  How could I have her in my chair for 50 minutes and not mention it, or say how sorry I was?   It's strange how this one hour almost a year ago still troubles me when only a few hours after this happened my life took such a drastic change.  I still know nothing about this woman other than she lost her son so tragically, but she made an impact on my life that she will probably never know.  I have come to hate the saying "Everything happens for a reason", but in this case I believe it is true.

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