Caroll's Flag

A year ago this month my Uncle Caroll joined his wife Marcy in heaven.  Caroll and Marcy had a long and loving marriage.  They were never blessed with children of their own because Marcy had MS, but they treated their nieces and nephews as if they were their own. 

Caroll was 94 years old and had served in WWII on the USS Irwin.  He was proud of his time in the Navy and talked of it often.  When I visited him in his last days, he was unresponsive so I talked to him.  As I talked about Curtis being in Afghanistan, his breathing became rapid and labored.  I assured him that Curtis was fine, and he soon returned to a normal rhythm.  Did he know something that I didn't at the time?  I went away feeling a bit uneasy. 

At the grave site, my cousin asked me to sit next to my Uncle Al.  I thought this was an unusual request, but said I would.  I never expected what was to come.  After the flag was folded, the soldier turned and presented the flag to me.  At that moment, I only saw Curtis.  He had been to Iraq and now been in Afghanistan since November, was this what it was like to receive his flag?  It was a terrible thought, but it was the only thing on my mind at the moment.  It was an honor to receive Caroll's flag, and the cousins and Uncle that decided that I should receive it gave it because of my service and that of Curtis', but it broke my heart.  At the luncheon that followed, my brother joked that I had a rather morbid collection at home,  I had also received my fathers flag, and at the time we were holding my father in laws flag after my mother in laws recent move.  I responded back that it had better be the last I receive!  Those words come back to haunt me often.  The weeks that followed were awful, I thought of Curtis and that flag often, and walked around in a daze, unable to concentrate.

After Curtis died, I thought Katie would receive the flag so I didn't need to worry about it.  When I discovered there were two flags presented, I lost it!  My case officer was confused until Dave told my story.  He told me that I didn't need to receive it, I could have it given to someone else if it was too painful.  The only person I thought of was Emily.  She had lost her only sibling, and she deserved this honor, and the thought of her and Katie receiving this gift at the same time seemed fitting.